The Ultimate PMS Care Package Imgur Imgur

Day 1:

• Wake up and feel really bloated for some reason. Like you’ve eaten three loaves of bread and a full block of cheese the night before. 
• Have an emotional crisis while trying to button your jeans and decide that you’re definitely putting on weight.
• Identify a little too much with the lady in that Senokot ad carrying around an actual bag of dirt.
• Spend whole day feeling pissed off that pyjama bottoms are “inappropriate” for the workplace and daydreaming about wearing something with a stretchy waistband.

Shutterstock / Ozgur Coskun Shutterstock / Ozgur Coskun / Ozgur Coskun

Day 2:

• A black cloud has descended. Everything is stupid and you’re not in the mood for people. 
• WHY IS THE BLOODY SIEVE IN THE PRESS WITH THE CUPS? WE KEEP THE SIEVE UNDER THE SINK AND HAVE DONE FOR TWO YEARS. WHAT IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH YOU?
• OH, DON’T INDICATE WHATEVER YOU DO, MORON. *furiously beeps*
• WHY IS THE WORLD TESTING MY PATIENCE LIKE THIS?

Shutterstock / file404 Shutterstock / file404 / file404

Day 3:

• Yesterday’s irritation has today blossomed into a full-blown existential crisis. What’s the point of anything? Everything is hopeless.
• Oh great, now I am weeping openly at a Permanent TSB ad. What the hell is wrong with me?
• Time to take to the bed and have a cry to Tracy Chapman.
• “SO REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE DRIVING, DRIVING IN YOUR CAR?” *gentle, defiant sobbing*

Shutterstock / Amanda Carden Shutterstock / Amanda Carden / Amanda Carden

Day 4:

• Oh good, I have a spot that resembles an Icelandic geyser on my chin. 
• Aaaaaand no amount of make-up is going to hide it. What a thrill it is to be a woman ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• *starts to tear up because nothing is going your way* Would it be weird to take a sick day over a spot?
• Get a goddamn hold of yourself, woman. Christ almighty.

Shutterstock / Sasa Komlen Shutterstock / Sasa Komlen / Sasa Komlen

Day 5:

• Wake up and feel like your uterus is stabbing you.
• Suddenly you start to piece everything together. The bad mood… the feeling of hopelessness… the weight gain… the hideous pimple…
• It’s just my period!!! Oh my God, thank God. I thought I was losing my mind.
• How do I forget this every month, lol

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